Registered: Dec 2005
Location: St. Thomas, North Dakota
Posts: 2613

Too late for the EurAsians to use this as locker room bulletin board material. I doubt any of them read the USA threads anyway.

All in jest. Good humor. Humour for my Canadian friends/teammates/suddenly-cheering-together-again-after-you-dumped-us-fans.

Just joking here. Looking for a laugh.

The C Cup starts in Vegas, baby, in two nights! We send Face Team and Erika With a K. PROPS to Tyler George. He forfeited an appearance at the Continental Cup the year he resigned from Pete Fenson's team to skip his own team. That was a significant sacrifice. Then he lost the Finals to Pete that year in that bizarre extra end in Fargo.

Teaming up with Face Team on the Men's side is almost every curler in Canada that Kevin Martin kicked off his team. What up, Canada? We don't get McEwen? We get Martin rejects like Benny Hebbs and Johnny Mo? If you're going to give us Morris, at least give us Earle Morris!

It don't matter. Eurasia is sending Edin (who hasn't played well since LIndberg was his third and that's been a while) and Ulsrud (who hasn't played well since the 2011 Euros) and a Chinese team that dropped it's two good curlers. So Face Team should be able to carry the Canucks on the Men's side.

On the Women's side, we should destroy them. Joining EriKa will be cold blooded Jennifer Jones who is a lawyer and cold blooded even for a lawyer. More cold blooded than JJ is Team Cyborg. Poor Eurasian babes have no idea the quality of mob hit-women were are fielding this time. None of our teams smile a whole lot...until you are dead...then they smile.

These Eurasian babes are the fourth best Swiss team, a Japanese team that's actually pretty dang good and Eve Muirhead. Now before puberty, Eve was wicked good. Since puberty...not so much.

So let's pretend that we still like Canada and rack up some points. True, the Mixed Doubles part isn't built for the USA curlers except Tyler. True, skins format might lead Face to overthink some situations (he has the rare ability to overthink everything including his breakfast order, let alone skins). But here we go, Team North America!

Does anyone know how to pirate ESPN 3?

Ben Tucker

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Registered: Dec 2003
Location:
Posts: 33

I'm sending this to captain Andy Kapp right now for him to print and post in his dressing rooms for motivation Ben. Thanks for that.

When you find out how to see it, let me know!

BTW the Doubles at the CC will use the syncronised timing/music breaks systam trialed at the NZ Winter Games last August. Should be fun!

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Registered: Mar 2009
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Espn3 is available streaming at Watchespn.com if you have a cable or satellite service.

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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"-Winston Churchill

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Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Omaha, Nebraska, USA
Posts: 1713

I'm packed and ready to go!!!

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Visit The AKCA Website!!!
http://www.curlaksarben.com

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Registered: Dec 2005
Location: St. Thomas, North Dakota
Posts: 2613

Hey, New Zealand, I thought Andy Kapp died. But then I remembered, it was German curling that died. Ran out of money and died. Dead. Glad to hear Andy will be coaching. I hope a country with a curling association adopts him. He was a great champion.

Has Ulsrud won anything since they started wearing the obnoxious pants?

I hope our team captain, Ann Swisshelm, has our team working on their High Fives. We can curl with these international superstars, but our curlers do the worst High Fives in all of sport. It might end up causing injuries if we dominate the competition. Maybe the worst curling injuries since Brad "Face Plant" Gushue.

I hear that some in attendance will be offered the opportunity to win tickets for the upcoming Vegas World Men's if they can make a wide-open-hit-and-stick. I'd ask for that Saskatchewan stubble jumper girl that the Cyborgs stole for my sweeper. Dang, that girl can run a broom.

Just need a little more help for getting free ESPN3. I have ultracheap rural cable. I'll probably end up in a bar watching and drinking. Curling is bad for your knees and liver.

Ben Tucker

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Registered: Dec 2005
Location: St. Thomas, North Dakota
Posts: 2613

Team North America needs a to have a good day this Sunday or I'm going to have to edit lots of these posts.

It would appear that all these Canadian men that Kevin Martin has dumped over the years are actually pretty good players. I don't know why he dumped them. Maybe they snore. So many nights on the road, you have dump a snorer even if they are good curlers.

It would also appear the the 4th best Swiss Women's team is pretty good. Damn Swiss. I'm trying to keep my jealousy from turning into hate.

But today might be a great day. We need our gals to carry Kevin's Castoffs to Mixed success and we need Face and Ty to skin the Chinese in the Skins game. Then I can go back to talkin' smack.

Ben Tucker

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